1 |
In
the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating
then world so he took the sabbath off. |
2 |
Adam
and Eve were created from an Apple tree. Noah's wife was called
Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark and the animals came on in pears. |
3 |
Lots
wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire
during the night. |
4 |
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. |
5 |
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah. |
6 |
Samson
slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. |
7 |
Moses
led the Jews to the Red sea where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients. |
8 |
The
Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert, Afterwards, Moses
went up to Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. |
9 |
The
first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. |
10 |
The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. |
11 |
Moses
died before he ever reached Canada . Then Joshua led the Hebrews
in the battle of Geritol. |
12 |
The
greates miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him. |
13 |
David
was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought
the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in bibical times. |
14 |
Solomon,
one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. |
15 |
When
Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. |
16 |
When
the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus
in the manager. |
17 |
Jesus
was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. |
18 |
St.
John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. |
19 |
Jesus
enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do unto others before
they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by
sweat alone. |
20 |
It
was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get
the tombstone off the entrance. |
21 |
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. |
22 |
The
epistels were the wives of the apostals. |
23 |
One
of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. |
24 |
St.
Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which
is another name for marraige. |
25 |
Christians
have only one spouse. This is called monotony. |